I. Am. So. TIRED! It's barely nine and I've been ready for bed since the munchkin went down. To be honest, I probably could've gone to bed as soon as I got home from the hospital today, but that would never happen in my reality.
Clinicals this week were actually fun. We had two patients instead of one, plus a team leader for two of three of us. It was the first time I've actually had a good time at clinicals. Prep work for two patients sucks, but it's nice to not have so much down time. For some reason it's easier for me to prioritize and keep a good flow going with more things going on. Even my instructor noticed, and said she'll probably give me three patients in the next couple weeks. That's half exciting, half scary for me. Prep work takes hours with just one patient, I don't even want to think about three...so I won't. I'm already stressed out, no need to make it worse now. I have to finish my professional organization paper tonight, finish my clinical paperwork to turn in after lecture tomorrow (9-11), finish my HAT (Holisitic Assessment Tool) paper.....you know, as I'm typing this I'm having deja vu and thinking I already ranted about how much I have to finish in the next few days. Ok, enough of that. Blah.
As to the title of this post, I feel like I might have been bit by the green eyed monster. It's been a tough return to school after spending three months at home with Kaleb basically 24/7. My parents took him for a weekend right before school started again, but otherwise it's been him and I together all summer. Now that I'm back to school and Martin's out of work, Martin stays home with Kaleb during the day. It's been tougher on me than I thought it would. Not just that I can't spend as much time with him, but because he's starting to go to Martin for so many more things. Tonight for example, I got him ready for bed and had him grab his blanky. Usually he'll grab it and come over to me so we can go downstairs. Tonight (and the past couple nights) he took his blanky over to Martin and tried to climb up on his lap. Kaleb didn't want anything to do with me. Kind of made me want to cry a little. I know it sounds horrible to say I'm upset that my son loves his father and is bonding more with him, but I can't help having a little pity party for myself right now. I'm trying to remember that I should just be thankful that they're bonding more. When Kaleb was first born Martin was a little stand offish with him. Now though, they're buddies and I'm thankful, and I need to let that be more important than my jealousy. Guess that's one more thing to add to my to-do list....
Off to do more homework : p
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