Doot da doo...

I've been wanting to write for a while, I've just been having a hard time coming up with anything to write about. Now that I'm finally finished with med-surg clinicals, I feel like I've lost all motivation and focus. That feeling seems to be spilling over into all areas of my life right now.

So. Focus. Let's pick a topic for tonight's blog, shall we? Alrighty then. I started writing this post, oh about an hour ago. Then I got distracted looking at pictures I had uploaded of the munchkin enjoying his new shoes, caught up on some email and online homework, and watched the Wild come from three goals down to win their home opener in sudden death overtime. So much for focus.

The only thing I can think about right now is the walk I took tonight. I've been trying to get back into shape and lose some of the weight I gained when school started last year. Martin and I were going to get up this morning and go to Lifetime to work out, but that just didn't happen. He encouraged me to take some time this afternoon to go and he would get dinner ready, but I just didn't have the motivation or energy. I wanted to work out, I just didn't want to drive to the gym. So Martin suggested I just take a walk. Nothing spectacular, right? Except it's been raining and near 40 degrees all day today. I know this might not make me exactly normal, but I've always loved taking walks in the rain.

So off I went, iPod in pocket, to enjoy some exercise in the chilly drizzle. I don't know if it's an actual phenomenon, or just my imagination, but taking a walk in the rain always leaves me feeling better mentally. Maybe it's because I appreciate symbolism, but tonight's walk was expecially good. I truly felt some of my emotional gunk being washed away by the rain and blown off with the wind. I was also able to use the time to pray (another bonus of a rainy day--fewer people giving me weird looks as I talk to myself--or God--as I walk). I've been really struggling lately with feeling like I'm not doing enough to maintain a relationship with God--something I feel is very important in my life. I've also been feeling very alone. I know that thought is my own, not the reality of the situation, but I feel like because of some of the decisions I've made in the past few years I have no right to seek God in my daily life--like I'm not worthy of his time. But tonight I had two songs on my iPod that I ended up playing over and over again that seem to help me start to get past some of those feelings: The Motions by Matthew West, and All I Can Say by David Crowder Band. If you've never heard these two songs, they are definitely worth a listen.

So I'm not sure if I really got the focus I was looking for tonight, but I do know that a walk in the rain can be spiritually cleansing, and that the Minnesota professional sports teams have been absolutely rocking it the past several days. So goodnight faithful readers  reader  person who stumbled upon my blog accidentally, sleep well.